The Code Between the Sexes
Then I stumbled on this marvelous idea of doing my book as a series of conversations, like quick stand up comedy skits, but tragically I didn’t have the energy to transcribe all the exchanges, which left me with what you see below, which is around when I capped off Attempt 5.
Deciphering the Code:
THE LEADING LADIES:
XX: Me in all my politically incorrect glory.
XX-1: an anonymous reference that references all my XX chromosome friends.
THE MEN IN OUR LIVES:
Ex-XY: Past Misgivings and miscreants
F-XY: Pending problems and prospects
P-XY: Current crisis and consolation
CISS-XY: Clandestine Intermittently Sexual Shenanigans
Live Dialogue, Revealed without much Regard for all Variables Involved:
XX: A bird in the hand maybe worth two in the bush, but a bush in your hand is hard experience.
XX-1: He broke up with me again Ash!
XX: What do you see in him XX-1, he isn’t even particularly hot, and I'm sorry to say this, but you could certainly do better!
XX-1: It’s not about his looks Ash, I like him for his personality.
XX: But girl, it’s his personality that keeps dumping you!
F-XY: tell me something I don’t know about your body yet…
XX: Hmmmm I tend to go up a cup-size before my period.
F-XY: Perhaps we should reschedule our date for that time of the month.
XX: After my fifth Martini even a lamp post can get me all hot and bothered.
F-XY: By the looks of it I’m guessing you’ve had your fifth Martini…
XX-1: I am down with a viral fever, I don’t feel so good.
XX: How on earth did you contract a viral fever now?
XX-1: It’s XY, he was under the weather and well, I guess he got too close.
XX: Well XY is like an open sewer, you never get too close to something with communicable diseases!
XX: Here’s a g'nite kiss. Use it well and plant it right.
CISS-XY: Oh that kiss did some naughty before it put me to rest. It’s only fair I subject you to the same. A kiss for every erogenous zone on your body my lady.
XX: What do I always say?
“If what you want is in what you say then what you get is most fitting
But if what you want isn’t in your say then you’ll be left regretting.”
XX: Precisely! It’s good that I had you memorize my brilliance.
XX: You don’t like giving head?
XX1: Sigh... I hear it gives you penis breath, which sounds more off putting than halitosis.
XX: If the jingle told the truth it would go, ‘always, always a bridesmaid until you open wide.’
But then I got tired of this format of writing. I think my main hiccup is sustaining a singular voice, I am basically a biennial art show or a collection of shorts from different authors in one person. I can’t do the same thing twice, (that’s what he said) and I outgrow styles far too quickly for my own good. I need a book that will evolve with me yet not read like a personality disorder. How does one ever write a book with a singular voice? Maybe if I were more dull and less all over the map in my interests I’d be able to champion such a cohesive effort? Heaven help me!