Day 31: May 2 2014
Life is full of unintended outcomes, we seldom can prepare for the curve balls we are handed, thus the most we can do is adapt and grow to actively participate in our ever evolving contexts. I cannot recount a single failure in my life, because everything that I have endured has made me who I am today, and I do not regret any of it.
I am enthusiastic about life, and I revel in learning, a growth curve that is paved by shifting perspectives and a state of being undone. I suppose I do not know what it means to fail because I am willing to take the detours that the world guides me toward. The reason I am able to do this is because I realize I am not the only force behind my existence, like Shakespeare I concede to the unities of time, place and action. You only fail when you stop, so long as your flowing, life always takes you somewhere, in the end it comes down to one’s ability to adapt to the unfamiliar and the unknown, fractions of Johari’s window that we are all inherently afraid of.
Failure is a product that is heavily packaged in expectations some of which aren’t even anchored in the now during which they are birthed. We can be highly anticipatory, impatient creatures, I should know, I want the reward even before I have coined the name for a given project, but if we wait and sync with the process then we enjoy the journey as much as the culmination and conclusion. To me the very concept of failure is derived from our own incapacity to see in shades of grey, it only exists in a black and white world. I don’t live in a black and white world, none of us do, it is incredibly vibrant and Technicolor, and more importantly its inclusive and synesthetic. We just need to find a way to remain permeable to all that input, and pay attention to the threads that resonate most with our internal frequency, that will inspire us to act and flow.
I don’t think anyone could fail at anything so long as they are willing to keep at it, learn, grow and remain open to change. In Parsons, where I was educated, the foundation year curriculum involved being assigned “problems” that needed custom creative “solutions” there was no right or wrong, it was about a need being addressed efficiently and holistically. I didn’t always find the best solutions, but it was “a” solution nonetheless and it wasn’t a failure because it taught me that the real reason why I couldn’t do it better was because I hadn’t taken the time to really understand or connect to the problem. Epiphanies take time, you have to allow yourself that time.
In conclusion the less familiar you are with something the more likely you are to learn from it, as it will contour your pre-existing patterns of reason and insight. The larger your color wheel of life the more malleable and pervious you will be to change. The more present you are, the less likely it is for you to be predisposed to conclusions based on outdated data or falter on account of unrealistic projections. Lastly the more time you spend understanding the question or the problem the more adept you will be at honing in on a feasible answer or solution. All of this will ensure you don’t encounter failure because the word will simply not be a part of your vocabulary.
The Serengeti inspires me every minute of every day because it is in a constant dance with me, relentlessly weaving in and out of my frame, making me so large, that I feel myself throughout the vast reaches of this pulsating landscape. There is no failure here, just a daily fight and an endless flow. I don’t ever want to leave this place, my heart clings to its fertile soil like morning dew hugs a sleepy leaf.